Trust. Trust was the core that held all that newlyweds did together. Trust in God, in each other, and in themselves. For many this seems like a simple thing. I say now something that is very personal but that I feel I must say. I trust no one. I have a hard time trusting anybody, least of all myself. I am afraid of what I might do if I don't keep myself to a strict lifestyle. I fear what others may or may not do to me, or against me. I trust God, at times. That is sad to say, but a great deal of the time I try and accomplish things myself before I place trust in the Lord to help me.
I have had experiences in my past that have affected how quickly, or easily I trust others. I want to say to all that read this here and now: Trust. Don't trust too easily but trust that the Lord will help you and stay with you. Trust that your friends will have your best interests at heart. Trust that your family will always stand behind you. Trust that all will happen in the way that it should.
Do not lack in trust like me. I learned in class that a lack of trust is not good. Not that I thought it was good, but I never thought about it's affect on those around me, and my future husband. Trust in those around you that care about you to be there when you need them. Realize that not everybody is out to get you or your money.
Trust is key to a marriage. Without trust a marriage cannot survive. Trust requires a leap of faith and can be extremely scary. But with trust, a relationship can grow and true intimacy can be acquired. This post isn't as scholarly in nature as my previous posts, but this is how I feel right now and it has been weighing heavily on my mind throughout this last week.
The very idea of having someone get that close to me, to make myself that vulnerable to another person is the scariest thing I could ever do. I hate to be seen vulnerable and I build walls specifically for the purpose of hiding my vulnerability. I hide behind sarcasm, "I'm fine"'s and "Oh, it's okay"'s.
As I said I have been seriously pondering this all week. I had a long discussion with my mother, and my best friend. They both told me they had known what I had just realized: I don't trust well. They also told me that it's definitely something I am going to have work on.
Do you gain trust for others overnight? I wish, but it's simply not that easy. It takes a great deal of time. It's interesting how losing trust for others can happen in a single day, but earning that trust back takes years.
Each day, look at what your friends have done for you, and just say out loud, or to yourself, "I trust them". If you say it often enough it will become true. Just as a person's testimony is strengthened each time they bear it.
I hope my small message about trust is well received and understood. Thank you for reading.