"...Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise" --Alma 37:6

Monday, November 25, 2013

An Open Heart

How do you open a heart? I am sure there are multiple surgical answers, depending on which procedure you are doing. When a person closes their heart from hurt, how do you re-open it? How do you acquire the courage to take such a risk?

I am not big on risks. I don't do anything remotely close to daredevil level. I don't even do slight risk. My financial plan is set up so I don't have to take any risks. I am extremely cautious, most would say overcautious.

Many social scientists have pondered over the causes of a closed heart, why people are so intent on protecting their hearts, but take risks in everything else. A person who is intent on controlling and protecting every aspect of their lives is an enigma that nobody can seem to explain or fully understand.

To those controlling and protective people, the supposedly simple request to trust somebody. Is hardly simple. This simplictic question is one I have never really answered truthfully. Here is my truthful answer: I don't trust anybody, save for a special few. Those few know who they are and they handle with care. The rest of the world I keep miles away. I act social, put on smiles, and play the social and dating games.

In reality, I have no trust in anyone. Those who are my friends may be offended or upset by this statement, but to gain my trust is a very hard task, that few have attempted and even fewer have won. If you know someone who lacks the ability to trust, such as myself, don't push it, don't fight. Take it day by day.

Shrek was right when he used the analogy of an onion. Although onions are not my favorite, nor do they smell particularly sweet, Shrek was right. We are all like onions. We have a central core and to get to it we must peel back all of the layers. Don't try to pull them all at once. That will cause even more harm and force the person to close up even tighter. Peel each layer tenderly, with great care, caution, and understanding. Have compassion and the desire to truly get to know the person.

In today's world, opening your heart is extremely scary, and a lot harder to do. Then again, man and woman have been taking risks all throughout history. Life without risk, isn't life. I am not saying go out skydiving tomorrow. I am saying small, baby steps. Try a new food, or a sport you were never really into before. Baby steps, layer by layer.

The journey to the center of a person's heart, may seem long and tedious, but I beg you to never give up. What you discover at a person's core is worth the wait. It will be the most magnificent, divine, and truly beautiful thing you will ever see and that, to me, is worth waiting for.  

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Wonders of Children

It is amazing how many wonderful little miracles God can place in your life. I've been depressed lately because I wasn't recognizing the wonderful blessings that I have. I get to see my sister's cute little 9 month old baby every day. I get to spend my days with 10-12 preschool age children who love me and shower me with "flowers" (they are really weeds, but who cares :) ). 

I think sometimes we lose sight of what we have because we focus on what we do not have. We focus on the negative and completely miss what's right in front of us. Like that best friend who has always been there through all of your ups and downs, or the sister who has seen you through all of your awkward stages. 

I realized this week that I have been greatly blessed and that I was missing out on those blessings because of the negative attitude I had been having towards my blessings. Being a preschool teacher full time isn't easy. You have about 12-14 children in your care from 8:30am-5:30pm sometimes later. Not to mention the family politics that arise when a child starts calling you "Mommy", or when the parents are divorced and refuse to be in the same building at the same time or talk to each other. Ever. 

But despite all of the downsides, there are 12-14 children who love me and I get to see their smiling faces every day. They give me hugs, and "flowers", and cuddle with me when the thunder and lightening scare them. They tell me they love every 30 seconds and I can't help but respond in kind. I tell them that I love them, and I cuddle them, and I give them so many hugs and and kisses in a day so that they never forget that I love them. 

Will they remember me when they grow up. Probably not. Will I really be the most influential person in their lives. Probably not. But I gave, or will give them, a head start. I am giving them the beginnings of learning so that they can navigate their way through this world and when they hit hard times, I hope I taught them well enough so that they remember that they are not alone. That somewhere out there, is someone who loves them, and will never stop loving them. 

I am a caregiver and am proud to say that in my heart I have adopted 14 children and they give me hope. 


Friday, March 29, 2013

Construction Zones

Have you ever gone on a road trip and gotten stuck in a construction zone? If not let me give you a brief description. There you are in your car driving 75 miles an hour and you are cruising. The music is playing and life is good. Then out of the corner of your eye you see a flash of bright orange. A pit forms in the bottom of your stomach and you groan as another orange sign comes into view. It reads, "Road Work Ahead: Speed Limit Reduced".

You reduce your driving speed to about 50-55 miles an hour. Another sign appears and your groan becomes an expression of, "Oh man!" as you realize the construction zone is 3 miles long. Your awesome road trip, to...wherever you're going will now take even longer. Things were going so well too. Dang it!

As you drive slowly through the 3 mile construction zone pretty, bright orange construction zone cones and signs decorate the otherwise simple grey of the road. Those 3 miles seem to go on forever, and then suddenly in the distance another bright orange sign. It reads, "End Road Work". Freedom!!! You hit the gas and get going at 75 miles an hour again. 

I have hit a construction zone in my life and I pray it doesn't last long. I also pray that I am not the only one that has construction zones in their life. I see these construction zones as times in my life when I have to make a decision or come to understand something and I just haven't yet. It's right on my fingertips but I can't quite tell what it is. 

If you ever hit a construction zone in your life, don't panic,...yet. Take a deep breath and drive right into it. It will seem endless, but I promise there is an end in sight. I just...haven't found it yet. When I do, I will be sure to let you know where it is. But understand that our ends will be different. They are very different for each individual person. 
 
That is a small frustration attached to construction zones. But hey that's life right?


"I've always heard every ending is also a beginning. I'd like to believe that's true" 
~Emily Prentiss, Criminal Minds~


Friday, March 1, 2013

The Finish Line

I write simply to write and express emotions. I have been given many crosses to bear and for the most part I have borne  them well. I always wondered, why me? It has occurred to me that I have extremely important work to do. My children have extremely important work to do.

I must be refined in the refiner's fire in order to do what I must do to further the work of God. Joseph Smith prophesied that, "No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing." I have been called to fulfill that prophesy with my brothers and sisters.

We have been chosen to be here in the last days. We agreed to be the last leg of the race and to stand up and fight Satan at his worst. He is gaining more control and strength every day and I, WE, must fight him. It is not easy, nor was it meant to be.

This is the time to decide which side you are on. You cannot straddle the line any longer. You must must decide today.  The world would have you believe that none of this matters or even exists. In some cases, and for a lot of people, Satan has won.

I plead with you, do not let him win. It is easier to succumb, to listen to and accept his lies. But that is what they are and always will be: lies. You are so much greater than he is. You are the strongest, most courageous, and honorable of God's children. You have already fought and won the first battle in Heaven, do not give up now.

Those unsure, wonder what possible advantage we may have. They see Satan as indestructible, all powerful, and for some not even real. Please remember that God made Satan and God is more powerful than Satan and all of his followers combined.

This mortal journey will eternally define us. Our actions here will help mold us and help us become more like our Father in Heaven. We must have faith and believe in the words of Christ. He has saved us all many countless times. His ultimate sacrifice of the Atonement saves us every day we accept Him. Let us prove ourselves worthy of saving. Let us prove our gratitude by becoming the best we can be.

To those that do not believe in God, I understand why it may seem like believing in a deity is archaic and "unevolved". But surely, when you look at the beauty of nature all around you, you cannot think it was all by accident.

I am not the result of some cosmic mishap. I am, always have been, and always will be. I do not end. Life is hard, no doubt about it. But do not give up when the finish line is so close. Fight to the end and never look back.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Why Does Man Look To The Stars?


"If God does not exist,
 thus making good and evil essentially a man made concept, 
Why does man look to the stars? 
Why do men, when they look around themselves, 
Just get that feeling that there is something greater? 
Why do men even strive for good at all if it doesn't really matter?"


I came across this quote on the internet and have wondered at its meaning. I have stared at it for a long time and have come to this conclusion: Man is constantly looking to the stars because deep down inside each one of us is the Light of Christ. A small part of ourselves knows there is something great and wonderful out there. That we are capable of becoming so much more than we already are. Many cynics today just say that it's simply hope, or a sincere wish that our situations would improve or that our meaningless existence would suddenly have meaning.

Our existence has always had meaning. We are not the result of some random combining of elements in space, or a random explosion or "big bang". If such an explosion happened it was not by chance nor random. The Family Proclamation given in 1995 to the world from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints states:

"All human beings-male and female-are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter  of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity, and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life."

Not all who read my blog are not all members of the church of which I am a part. Some do not agree with my beliefs, and others are questioning. They do not know what they believe right now and feel like they are in a kind of rut. I speak to those individuals. I will not force my belief onto you, but ask that you at least consider what I have to say.

You are greatly loved by so many. You don't realize just how much you are loved. The world around you is dark and the answers to all of your questions seem to be just out of your reach. Please don't stop searching for the truth that may seem to be ever elusive. It is only elusive because there is one who will stop at nothing to ensure that you never find the truth and are forever lost. He would love nothing more than for you to give up your search and your constant prayers.

I beg you not to let him win. Keep praying. Keep searching. Remember that you are loved so very much. My mother has a rubber stamp that is one of my favorites. It is a stamp of a scripture which reads,

"Look at the birds of the air; that they do not sow neither do they reap; nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. are you not worth much more than they?" (Matt. 6:26)

We have been are created in the image of our Father in Heaven. We are His children. Would a father abandon his child in their greatest time of need? He will help lift our burdens and guide us through our trials. Do not give up. Have faith. The most powerful man in the world isn't standing. He's kneeling.