"...Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise" --Alma 37:6

Sunday, October 16, 2016

ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development

I came across an article in a recent school course with a similar title. Thomas B. Holman, Frank Poulsen, and others began their article with the statement, "the purpose...is to present research and prophetic and scriptural guidance to help young Latter-day Saints be successful in finding an eternal companion. We do so within the framework of the....ABCDEs of mate selection."

These so-called ABCDEs are:

A- Aware of or acquaintance with another person
B- Buildup of the relationship
C- Continuation following commitment to a long-term relationship ( which may result in marriage for many couples)
D- Deterioration or decline in the interdependence of the couple
E- Ending of the relationship

The article continues by saying, "President Thomas S. Monson noted, 'Decisions determine destiny. That is why it is worthwhile to look ahead, to set a course, to be at least partly ready when the moment of decision comes.' Thus, we must look ahead to the type of marriage we want, set a course toward that goal, and then 'prepare every needful thing' (D+C 88:119) so when the opportunity for establishing a relationship that could lead to eternal marriage arises, we are read to move forward with faith."

We have to understand that not all relationships will go through all of the ABCDEs listed above. Some relationships are short-lived and are only acquaintances, others build up with a few dates. Commitment occurs with a few, but not for all.

The biggest realization and acceptance is that many relationships will deteriorate and end. Some are a mutual decision others won't be of our choice. For further details for each of the ABCDEs, refer to the following book,

Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives edited by Alan J. Hawkings, David C. Dollahite, Thomas W. Draper.

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