"...Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise" --Alma 37:6

Friday, October 14, 2016

Pathways to Eternal Marriage

In today's dating world, everyone is looking for Mr./Mrs. Right, that perfect person to share a perfect love and perfect eternal love. This approach to dating, according to Jason S. Carroll, "...creates feelings of anxiety about dating, as young people feel overwhelmed by the prospect of finding their 'perfect match.' "

From experience, I can say that this anxiety is real. When dating, you are so paralyzed with a fear of making a mistake that even taking one step in any direction is nerve-wracking.

In the remainder of his article, Jason C. Carroll discusses a dating approach known as becoming. Carroll explains, "The difference between the 'finding Mr./Mrs. Right' approach and this approach is that the 'becoming' approach primarily emphasizes personal readiness, maturity, and growth....the main emphasis is on becoming ready for marriage and then committing to that relationship when you have made the decision to marry."

So for example, when searching for Mr./Mrs. Right, we all have a list. Don't deny it, you have a list. This list is of characteristics and personality traits that we look for and desire in our perfect match. With the becoming approach, you take that list and use it on yourself. You must ask the question: Do I have all of these traits? Are there any traits that I need to work on?

After asking those questions, we need to work towards becoming the perfect version of ourselves so that when the opportunity for a relationship comes we are emotionally mature and ready for such a commitment. But there is one more key to dating successfully.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught, "Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril."

That is the key. Dating and relationships must be approached with the Lord. The Lord guides in the right direction toward the relationships we need to learn, grow, and fulfill our promises, commitments, and covenants with God.

Elder Richard G. Scott stated, "You have a choice. You can wring your hands and be consumed with concern for the future or choose to use the counsel the Lord has given to live with peace and happiness."

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